it's like magic

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I won't lie, I am really not that good at doing makeup. The most exciting thing I can do is slap on some bright lipstick or use a different color than black for eyeliner, but you won't see me doing any fancy ass eyeshadow tricks... don't even get me started on winged eyeliner. My winged eyeliner looks about as good as Amy Winehouse's version.

Moving on...

Makeup can make such a transformation, no? Of course these women look great sans makeup, they just look DIFFERENT with makeup. Are you someone who has to wear makeup 25/8? I really don't care who sees me without it, therefore, I go to many a places looking a hot mess. Whatever. I got me a man! Here's my before and after-

You know those commercials that show before and after photos (think weightloss), the before picture always looks horrendous (hair unkept, no makeup, sad face) and the after looks like they just won the lottery (perfect makeup, perfect outfit, perfect hair, biggest smile)... these pictures made me think of that.

Jason Wu Spring 2011

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I am loving SHEER! Can you imagine walking into work in the first two outfits? You so could... you know, if it wasn't for the whole two exposed nipples (although, I think it is a good look). I feel like the sheer look is killed when a camisole is worn underneath, but I guess it will have to do. I can only wish... they say dreams do come true, right?

who YOU impressin?

Winter is coming to an end in Florida (maybe not technically, but tomorrow's high is supposed to be 74) and all I can think about is all the yummy fruits and veggies that will be in season again (strawberries, watermelons, tomatoes, grapes, and asparagus to name a few). While I am daydreaming about shoving my face with BLTs, making fruit salads, and having ice cream for lunch, my train of thought gets rudely interrupted by a Hyrdoxycut ad orrrr ways to lose weight by drinking green tea or that annoying ass infomercial with the shiny men and women on the Bowflex. Is America obsessed with being thin or what?

I used to read magazines like Self and Shape, but once you start reading the same thing over and over again it tends to be repetitive and frankly, puts women on this obsessive mindset. All the November, December, and January issues are about ways to not gain the holiday pounds, if you eat that apple pie at your Christmas dinner you will need to run x amount of miles, switch from drinking beer to drinking a low cal drink like champagne. give.me.a.break. Food and Wine magazine, on the other hand, is the JAM! Here are chefs who eat amazing and indulgent meals, but balance everything out by exercising and eating other healthy foods on a regular basis. That is what life is all about.

Why is America so obsessed? Of course I absolutely believe in treating your body right and nourishing your temple and exercising, but when it comes to obsessively trying to have the smallest waist, biggest boobs, smallest thighs... who are we REALLY trying to impress? Is it men or is it really for other women? Frankly, I think men could not care less if your stomach divides into three different sections when you sit down or if you gained 5 pounds and it all went straight to your ass (they actually probably love it).

Women should love their body, treat it right, eat that cake, and embrace those little boobies, big ass, tiny ass, big boobies your mama gave ya. Just because I only have a handful on the top and bottom doesn't make me any less of a woman. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes!

no delivery here

Pizza. Oh, how I love thee. There's just something about bread, melty cheese, and endless varieties of toppings that just make me happy. Now I LOVE bread (you know those people who eat raw cookie dough when making cookies, when I make bread I eat the raw bread dough... seriously), but I am not a fan of deep dish pizzas. too.much.crust. In fact, they irk me. Pizza to me is all about the cheese and toppings. I started making my own pizza at home a couple of years ago, you know, buying the pre-made crust, the pre-made sauce, add the toppings and cheese, and viola pizza is served. Now I prefer to make my own crust and sauce. Even though it's all about the cheese and toppings, you need to have an awesome base to start with. That's like a beautiful woman or a handsome man having no personality or being an idiot or being a bitch, if your crust sucks than your cheese and toppings aren't going to get you far in life (unless someone just wants to use you for your cheese and toppings... I digress...). I promise it is really easy too. You need to have iron skillets or oven proof skillets.

Dough (makes 2 individual pizzas or 1 big one):
ingredients:
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
1 1/8 teaspoons highly active yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 1/2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 cups flour

directions:

combine the sugar, yeast, and water in a bowl. not going to lie, I don't take the temperature of the "warm" water, I go by how it feels. you don't want the water to be too hot or the water will kill the yeast, but you don't want the water to be too cold or the yeast will not be activated (yeast is alive). mix and let it sit for about 10 minutes, it will be nice and foamy at the top. add in the salt and olive oil. add the flour a little at a time (1/2 cup or so) and mix. once I get to about 1 cup mixed in, I dump the mixture onto a lightly floured surface (my countertop) and mix the rest by hand. knead for 8 minutes. oil the countertop and the top of the dough and place a damp towel over it, let rise for 2 hours. after 2 hours punch the dough down, split it in half, cover, and let rise another 2 hours.

Sauce:

the sauce is super easy to make! all you need is good quality crushed tomatoes (I used San Marzano), salt, red pepper flakes, basil, and garlic powder. the tomatoes you use is important because the better quality, the less you have to do to it. I take out as much sauce as I think I will be using and mix in the unmeasured spices. I say you can never have too much basil or red pepper flakes.

directions:

place your skillet in the oven and preheat it on high broiler. roll out your dough to the desired thickness and size (remember it needs to fit in your skillet). roll the outer edge over. take the skillet out and place the dough in it. top with sauce, toppings (this time I used onions and green bell peppers), and cheese (I used mozzarella pearls and asiago). place on the middle rack in the oven and cook for 6 - 7 minutes on high broil. take out and turn the stove-top on between medium and high and cook the pizza for 2 - 3 minutes. watch very carefully so the pizza doesn't burn on the bottom. this way, to me, gets a perfect crust on top and bottom, but still is chewy.
It is the perfect portion for my selfish self (I guess I'm not that selfish, I made Ben his own too).

1. pink roses > red roses
2. Local 1 beer from Brooklyn (Belgian Strong Pale Ale, 9% ABV)
3. apple crisp dessert topped with vanilla ice cream after a delicious dinner at Bistro Aix. My mouth is getting SPOILED!

what exercise and food mean to me

Okay I have a confession to make, I was once OBSESSED with exercise and eating a certain number of calories a day. I believed I was going to get "fat" from not doing my usual 4 mile run that day. I would in no way starve myself (I ate constantly because I was ALWAYS hungry from working out so much), but I would be paranoid about eating something "bad" and then feeling like I should go workout. This my friends is clearly unhealthy.

In January of last year I decided to cut out alcohol, soda, and fast food. I still do not drink soda or eat fast food but a few times a year. Not only that but I began working out, I'm talking full blown crazy amounts of calories burned by running and then lifting weights. Oh yeah, in no time I looked like a 12 year old boy who participated in body building competitions. This is definitely a good look, I mean who doesn't want to date a woman who has a 9 pack with no ass or boobs? S-E-X-Y. My lilbuttlilmelons (joke from 8th grade) became nobuttnomelons. Bathing suit tops were unflattering on my bony chest and the smallest of dress pants enhanced my shapeless body (think Black Swan Natalie Portman, yeaaaahhhh... gross). This is also in hindsight, at the time I seriously thought I looked good.

I was always running and constantly sore. My calves always felt horrible! Running was not fun anymore, it become a chore. I wouldn't order what I REALLY wanted at restaurants. I was eating plain oatmeal with banana for breakfast (BOR-ING!! love me some muesli, though). I finally started adding certain things to my life, butter and good beer, for example, and I also stopped my crazy obsessive workout regimes. Guess what... I have not become "fat."

I enjoy food, I no longer worry if food is "bad." I no longer torture my body and force it to "work out." I do not go to the gym anymore. I find pleasure in doing pilates, yoga, tennis, and running when I FEEL LIKE IT. If I want to sit on my ass that day and not lift a finger, than that is what I will do. On the other hand, if I have an urge to contribute to my deafness for when I get older (what can I say, I love loud music) while I run then I will do so too!

As cliche as it sounds, "everything in moderation" really is true. Too much of anything is a bad thing. Too much exercise can be a bad thing. Too much butter can be a bad thing too. Listen to your body, it is a smart thing. If you're sore, take a break, if you're full, stop eating, if you're hungry, eat. Why follow all these fad diets or crazy workouts telling us to eat every 2 hours, cut out carbs, eat lots of protein, and one of the best ones... the shake weight HAHA. I think too much thought is going into it. If you are pulling up to drive thrus and ordering the #2 on a regular basis then it will show. Eat REAL food. I think this is the main key. Read ingredients (if you're buying processed foods) and if you have no idea what something is, you probably shouldn't buy it. Don't beat yourself up if you eat a pint of ice cream in one sitting (true story every time I buy ice cream, I love you Haagen Daz). We should listen to our bodies, and my body never says no to ice cream, cue R. Kelly- my mind's tellin me noooo, but my body, my body's tellin me yes. Park further away from the door entrance and WALK, exercise your dog every day, go to the park, whatever you feel like doing. Don't go by a number on the scale, go by how YOU feel.

Now I enjoy food and am naturally active. Life's too short to spend the majority of your time working out and obsessing over the protein to carbs to fat ratio. A good thing that has come from me cutting back my exercise is that I am not hungry every 10 minutes anymore... now it's only every 30 minutes ;), oh and I can feel my boobies again!


Here's a picture from July 2010 and a picture of Cameron Diaz February 2011. She's the perfect example of someone going a little too far. Same no cleavage chest, different body. But forget the chest, look at her stomach!! I just barfed a little.